Okay, let’s be real. Building a healthy relationship with food isn’t just about what you eat. It’s about how you feel when you eat it. And trust me, I’ve been there—staring at a bowl of salad, wondering if I could just wrap it in a pancake and call it “balance.” Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. But you get the idea—food is more than fuel; it’s emotional, social, and, at times, a little overwhelming. So, how do we stop stressing over what’s on our plate? Here’s the breakdown.

Why Building a Healthy Relationship with Food Is Essential

If you’re like me, food has probably been a source of joy, frustration, comfort, and guilt at different points in your life. For some, it’s a stressful cycle of counting calories, avoiding carbs, or trying out the latest “miracle” diet. For others, it’s an emotional eating rollercoaster (raise your hand if you’ve raided the fridge after a breakup). But here’s the thing: food isn’t the enemy. It’s the key to living well. Building a healthy relationship with food means learning how to enjoy it without the mental gymnastics.

Let’s face it, food is supposed to be fun. I mean, there are only so many ways you can “enjoy” a salad, right? But when we stop obsessing over what we’re eating and start paying attention to how we eat, that’s when things get real.

Having a healthy relationship with food is about:

• Getting to know your body: Learning to listen to your own hunger cues (and actually responding).
• Saying goodbye to guilt: Not feeling ashamed when you enjoy that slice of pizza with extra cheese.
• Making peace with balance: You don’t have to eat kale every meal to be “healthy.”

Mindful Eating: It’s More Than Just “Slow Down, Chomp, Chomp”

You’ve heard it a million times: “Eat mindfully.” But what does that really mean? It’s not just chewing slowly and pretending to savor every bite of quinoa—let’s be honest, quinoa is dry. It’s about tuning into how food makes you feel. And, trust me, I’ve had my struggles here. My first attempt at mindful eating? I ate an entire bag of chips while binge-watching The Office. Not exactly the Zen moment I had envisioned.

Tips for Mindful Eating:

• Eat Slow: If you’re in a hurry, it’s easy to just shovel food down without thinking. Take a breath, chew your food. Really chew it. If it takes you an hour to eat a sandwich, you’re doing it right.
• No Distractions: This one’s huge. Try to put your phone down (guilty). Focus on the flavors. Is that lettuce actually crunchy, or are you just zoning out?
• Listen to Your Body: You’d be amazed how many times I ate until I felt stuffed, only to realize I wasn’t actually hungry in the first place. Don’t eat just because food’s available—eat because your body actually needs it.
• Appreciate the Moment: Yes, it’s a burrito. Yes, it’s beautiful. You earned it, enjoy it.

And here’s the kicker: mindful eating isn’t about forcing yourself to eat slowly—it’s about enjoying the food, and learning how it feels to eat without guilt. And trust me, you’ll enjoy food more than you ever thought possible.

Emotional Eating: It’s a Real Thing (And I’m Guilty)

I once ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s after reading an email that didn’t even involve me. Yeah. It wasn’t pretty. Emotional eating is something I’ve battled with—there are days I’ve turned to chocolate after a stressful meeting or just because… why not? But emotional eating isn’t going to fix whatever’s bugging you. In fact, it usually makes things worse.

Here’s the deal: food isn’t a therapist. It’s a temporary distraction, and the sugar crash afterwards isn’t going to help you either. So how do you stop? Easy. Well, not easy—but doable.

Ways to Tackle Emotional Eating:

• Recognize Triggers: I started noticing I reach for comfort food when I’m overwhelmed. Like, when work is stressing me out or when I’m just tired of adulting. Noticing when you’re eating emotionally is step one.
• Find Other Outlets: Instead of grabbing the cookies, I’ve learned to go for a quick walk. Or if I’m feeling fancy, a cup of herbal tea. Yeah, tea. I know, I’m getting all healthy on y’all.
• Be Kind to Yourself: One time I ate my weight in nachos after a particularly brutal Zoom meeting. You know what? It happened. I’ve moved on. So, don’t beat yourself up for those moments. Just keep going.

If emotional eating’s your thing, get it under control before it controls you. Find healthier coping mechanisms, and maybe avoid buying a family-size bag of chips, just in case.

No Need for Perfection—Just Aim for Balance (And Maybe Add Some Cheese)

I’ll admit it—when I first started trying to eat “perfectly,” I ended up tossing out my third round of kale chips. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. The thing about food is, it’s not all about avoiding things like sugar or carbs. That’s a slippery slope. I tried being a “perfect” eater once. Let’s just say, that experiment ended with me eating an entire cake to “prove a point.” Perfection in food? Not possible.

It’s about balance, not being a food saint. You don’t have to eat only quinoa bowls to be healthy.

How to Find That Sweet Spot of Balance:

• Let Yourself Enjoy Things: Eating a burger once in a while isn’t going to derail your health journey. I mean, we’re not monks, right? Live a little.
• Focus on Nutrient-Rich Foods: Prioritize wholesome, whole foods, but don’t beat yourself up for indulging every now and then. It’s all about that equilibrium, y’all.
• Portion Control: Yeah, I said it. Portion control. It’s okay to have pizza—just maybe not a pizza the size of a small car.
• Be Flexible: If you eat that pizza, great. If not, that’s cool too. The idea is flexibility. Be chill about it.

Remember, perfection is overrated. Find your balance, and don’t stress over that slice of cake. Seriously. You got this.

Self-Acceptance: You Deserve to Enjoy Food (And You’re Doing Just Fine)

I’ve been on a diet or two in my life. Heck, my first herb garden died faster than my 2020 sourdough starter—RIP, Gary. But one thing I learned the hard way is this: self-acceptance is the real key to a healthy relationship with food. It’s about being kind to yourself, no matter what you ate for lunch.

The way you view your body shapes how you eat. If you’re constantly looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking you’re not “good enough,” your relationship with food is gonna reflect that.

How to Start Practicing Self-Acceptance:

• Positive Self-Talk: Instead of thinking “I ate too much,” say “I’m learning to enjoy food without guilt.”
• No One’s Perfect: Seriously, if you don’t eat a veggie every meal, that’s okay. I know, I know—you’re trying, but give yourself some grace.
• Celebrate the Wins: Enjoy the fact that you’re eating without obsessing over it. Seriously. If you made a home-cooked meal that didn’t involve burning anything, that’s a win.

It took me way too long to get here, but embracing who I am has made a world of difference in how I view food. No more guilt. Just self-love and pizza. (Mostly pizza.)

Support Systems: Don’t Go It Alone

Fast forward past three failed attempts to eat a salad before a 9 a.m. meeting, and I realized: I needed support. Whether it’s a dietitian, a friend, or that neighbor who’s always carrying around a gallon of kombucha, finding people who get it is crucial. We don’t live in a vacuum. We need help, especially when food has more emotional weight than we care to admit.

How to Build Your Support Squad:

• Talk About It: Share your struggles with friends who understand. I’ve had some wild dinner convos about “food freedom” that were surprisingly therapeutic.
• Get Professional Help: Sometimes, it’s better to talk to someone who knows their stuff. You can find guidance from dietitians or counselors who specialize in food-related struggles.
• Join a Community: Whether it’s online groups or local support meetings, find a crew that can cheer you on when the going gets tough.

Anyway, here’s the kicker: You don’t have to do this alone. Having a tribe (or just one supportive friend) can make a world of difference in how you navigate food and health.

Conclusion (Just Kidding, Let’s Be Real)

Building a healthy relationship with food is a journey. There’s no magic formula—just a lot of trial, error, and some pizza along the way. Be patient with yourself. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be real. Food is meant to be enjoyed, not feared. And if you end up eating too much cheesecake? It’s not the end of the world. Just keep moving forward with balance and self-love.